Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (336)

Last Night in North Carolina (336)

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(336): View more from North Carolina

dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!

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(336): dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems! http://tfl.nu/qsei

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I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.

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It's gameday bitch. Man up.

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(336): I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged. (412): It's gameday bitch. Man up. http://tfl.nu/dewp

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.

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(336): I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012. http://tfl.nu/82uc

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So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing

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(336): So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing http://tfl.nu/2fy2

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(336): View more from North Carolina

She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.

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(336): She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week. http://tfl.nu/we2v

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His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.

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You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.

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Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive

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(704): His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be. (336): You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver. (704): Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive http://tfl.nu/8bf5

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Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning

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(336): Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning http://tfl.nu/no2z

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That boy needs some memories to take back home with him

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(336): That boy needs some memories to take back home with him http://tfl.nu/bmt8

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(336): View more from North Carolina

You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.

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(336): You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed. http://tfl.nu/8v03

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.

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(336): Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings. http://tfl.nu/e4bs

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He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.

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(336): He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time. http://tfl.nu/dr9e

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he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.

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(336): he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever. http://tfl.nu/31ik

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth

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(336): Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth http://tfl.nu/r0sd

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If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.

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(336): If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone. http://tfl.nu/bfil

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HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.

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TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT

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(828): HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS. (336): TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT http://tfl.nu/5rl9

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Last Night in North Carolina (336)

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