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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
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