If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.