She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?