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Last Night in Minnesota (320)

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Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks

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(320): Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks http://tfl.nu/7398

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Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...

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(320): Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting... http://tfl.nu/4ynh

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so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..

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(320): so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville.. http://tfl.nu/vgyl

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A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.

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(320): A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears. http://tfl.nu/pw7m

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I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.

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(320): I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me. http://tfl.nu/008l

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Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...

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(320): Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs... http://tfl.nu/sf3t

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For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.

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(320): For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates. http://tfl.nu/jze3

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Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.

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(320): Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year. http://tfl.nu/8zt2

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You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.

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(320): You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time. http://tfl.nu/fdjv

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If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.

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Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.

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It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.

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(916): If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige. (320): Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop. (916): It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area. http://tfl.nu/1pkh

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I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...

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It's been a bad semester.

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(320): I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill... (1-320): It's been a bad semester. http://tfl.nu/n3pf

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3pm strippers are depressing

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(320): 3pm strippers are depressing http://tfl.nu/w12t

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her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her

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that's how i am about ashleys and britneys

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(320): her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her (1-320): that's how i am about ashleys and britneys http://tfl.nu/ea81

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I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.

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(320): I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on. http://tfl.nu/x1xg

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I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.

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(320): I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it. http://tfl.nu/sdid

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Last Night in Minnesota (320)

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