I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha