There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua