Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.