Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world