After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?