Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.