Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...