I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I am mentally ready for anal.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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