last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.