I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.