Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Texas (210)

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  (210): View more from Texas

  It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.

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  (210): It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright. http://tfl.nu/p54t
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  so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.

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  (210): so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail. http://tfl.nu/722m
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  I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...

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  (210): I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti... http://tfl.nu/mzxu
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  I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.

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  (210): I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now. http://tfl.nu/26wy
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  Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.

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  (210): Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT. http://tfl.nu/29iu
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  when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"

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  (210): when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug" http://tfl.nu/5kj7
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  That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.

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  It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?

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  Is your card paying for my plan b?

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  (512): That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender. (210): It was my card, so what do you care that you lost? (512): Is your card paying for my plan b? http://tfl.nu/703j
  Replies (12) Good night (1184) Bad night (2661)
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  My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out

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  (210): My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out http://tfl.nu/di5z
  Replies (47) Good night (1304) Bad night (6473) Order T-Shirt
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  Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.

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  (210): Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move. http://tfl.nu/2sh4
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  She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.

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  (210): She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college. http://tfl.nu/uhbq
  Replies (4) Good night (1982) Bad night (428) Order T-Shirt
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  Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?

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  (210): Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting? http://tfl.nu/he3z
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  The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced

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  The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks

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  (210): The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced (210): The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks http://tfl.nu/kwln
  Replies (6) Good night (1607) Bad night (606)
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  I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.

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  (210): I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be. http://tfl.nu/9s9m
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  Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.

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  (210): Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors. http://tfl.nu/4w9v
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  The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.

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  (210): The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple. http://tfl.nu/ks4u
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