Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
