don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
