Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
