Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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