congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.