Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic