There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud