Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation