i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.