I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
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You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."