Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...