We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Say something about gay babies.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..