You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..