You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"