Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.