I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
ttyl tear gas
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening