Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (604)

Last Night in British Columbia (604)

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I want you more than these girls want KFC

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(604): I want you more than these girls want KFC http://tfl.nu/a34i

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The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.

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(604): The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches. http://tfl.nu/tdy2

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I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction

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(604): I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction http://tfl.nu/piq1

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i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.

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(604): i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later. http://tfl.nu/i15d

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Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.

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(604): Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life. http://tfl.nu/tq60

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just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.

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(604): just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe. http://tfl.nu/ejrn

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What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.

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(604): What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners. http://tfl.nu/ayy8

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found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long

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wtf you measured my hair?

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(604): found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long (1-604): wtf you measured my hair? http://tfl.nu/f3a1

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I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?

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Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.

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Ohh that happened after I started to cry.

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(604): I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous? (778): Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely. (604): Ohh that happened after I started to cry. http://tfl.nu/giil

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I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.

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(604): I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was. http://tfl.nu/96eh

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the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.

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(604): the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick. http://tfl.nu/jjwi

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her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to

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(604): her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to http://tfl.nu/r2n2

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Do you have a shampoo for semen

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Or a time machine

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(604): Do you have a shampoo for semen (604): Or a time machine http://tfl.nu/n3wr

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she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.

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(604): she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me. http://tfl.nu/s0lh

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he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?

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(604): he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him? http://tfl.nu/uzgr

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Last Night in British Columbia (604)

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