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I want you more than these girls want KFC
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
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