Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
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so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
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She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.