I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?