If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
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eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"