Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
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now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"