Last Night in Arkansas (501)

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  ok you need to stop NOW

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  So my game is weak??

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?

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