I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...