Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
No I am not eating basil off your cock
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".