He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
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ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .