Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex