Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.