You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .