You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .