She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day