Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
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Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.