His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I told you penises don't tan
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.