Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes