I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure