Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.