So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Canadian or clown?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night