I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Canadian or clown?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
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I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
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If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.