Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Follow @tfln