nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?