Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (701)

Last Night in North Dakota (701)

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(701): View more from North Dakota

you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?

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(701): you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends? http://tfl.nu/lhmx

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The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.

(406): View more from Montana

And we all know God doesn't like sinners.

(701): View more from North Dakota

Amen.

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(701): The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out. (406): And we all know God doesn't like sinners. (701): Amen. http://tfl.nu/nq0i

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My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...

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(701): My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this... http://tfl.nu/7jfd

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Want any specific kind of beer?

(623): View more from Arizona

Yeah. Alcohol flavor.

(701): View more from North Dakota

Got it. Anything but Miller.

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(701): Want any specific kind of beer? (623): Yeah. Alcohol flavor. (701): Got it. Anything but Miller. http://tfl.nu/wg65

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two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.

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(701): two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room. http://tfl.nu/az3h

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I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.

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(701): I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America. http://tfl.nu/w2zj

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that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon

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(701): that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon http://tfl.nu/7qfo

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Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday

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(701): Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday http://tfl.nu/rqca

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The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.

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(701): The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night. http://tfl.nu/22ub

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My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.

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(701): My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying. http://tfl.nu/rpdb

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Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.

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(701): Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this. http://tfl.nu/tncp

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I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.

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(701): I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers. http://tfl.nu/q78w

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Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize

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(701): Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize http://tfl.nu/1v86

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Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?

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(701): Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave? http://tfl.nu/y6y0

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(701): View more from North Dakota

i want to fuck

(320): View more from Minnesota

?

(701): View more from North Dakota

it's pretty self explanatory

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(701): i want to fuck (320): ? (701): it's pretty self explanatory http://tfl.nu/ul4n

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Last Night in North Dakota (701)

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