I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
I met the friendliest cop last night