Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
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I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
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My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY