Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs