Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Iowa (563)

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  How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?

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  The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?

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  (563): How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence? (1-563): The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them? http://tfl.nu/0g65
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  his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?

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  (563): his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off? http://tfl.nu/hp8b
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  I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death

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  (563): I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death http://tfl.nu/f03y
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  I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.

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  (563): I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever. http://tfl.nu/ydd6
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  that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.

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  (563): that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark. http://tfl.nu/i86g
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  My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood

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  (563): My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood http://tfl.nu/k7f1
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  I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.

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  (563): I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers. http://tfl.nu/uen6
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  i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.

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  (563): i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up. http://tfl.nu/69xm
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  I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing

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  (563): I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing http://tfl.nu/bqtp
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