Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.